We MUST save Chicago!
It’s going to feel like 40 below in Chicago this week and they are set to experience the coldest temperatures in a decade. Stupid global warming. I sure wish it wasn’t so dang hot all the time….
This has brought me to an epiphany. I personally have solved the sudden global cooling crisis all by myself. SUV farms. Yes folks, that’s right. Acres and Acres of SUV’s parked on permeable paved surfaces. These farms will be strategically located in areas that are predicted to suffer catastrophic cold this winter and perhaps in winters to come. Long about Thanksgiving, armies of presently unemployed persons would go to ‘the fields’ to fuel up all these climate control machines with the requisite fossil fuels to prepare for winter. When the cold air starts blasting in from up north, the farms could be started up. This would (according to popular opinion) have the effect of instantaneously warming the atmosphere in that area to abnormally high temperatures for the season; battling the cold and saving the potentially doomed citizens from an Icy death.
What could be better than that you ask? How about fixing the economy at the same time???Where are all of these new SUV’s going to come from? From Detroit! That’s right, not only will these farms save us from the planet’s worst cold snaps, but building, maintaining and occasionally replacing them all would put thousands of union Autoworkers back on the job! Praise BE!! You see what a little ingenuity can do???!
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