Pirates!
If you don’t live under a rock, you know that there have been multiple high-profile, extremely expensive episodes of piracy around the horn of Africa in the last few weeks.
Most of this, if not all of it, comes from the coast of Somalia, which is a completely lawless country. The Sirius Star (which is kind of a redundant name if you have any knowledge of astronomy) is carrying a full load of Saudi oil which was bound for points abroad. The cargo and the 25 crew are all now hostages off the coast of Somalia while the pirates deal with Prince Faisal and his crowd.
There used to be a way to deal with Pirates… it involved blowing them to smithereens or forcibly (and by coincidence lethally) putting them in a “gravity driven neck stretching device”. Nowadays we have better cannons with which to obliterate these terrorists (that’s what they are), which largely frees up the necessary rope for other uses.
Now, this is just the capitalist in me, but this sounds like an extremely good opportunity for someone with a military (preferably Naval) background to start an “Escort Service” for ships. Heck, I might even look into it myself. Think of the benefits… a killer tan, you get to carry a gun and the unique satisfaction of helping to solve the world’s “Islamic Terrorist Overpopulation Problem”. I could call the company “Death Boat” in a play on the similar, but opposite term “lifeboat” and the slogan could be “Even one Pirate is too many”. I would be a millionaire in a very short time and could probably solve the problem in about 6 months. Then I sell the company to an international conglomerate and retire. You see, capitalism is a GREAT system. The market has needs, I offer solutions and everyone benefits… well not everyone, but the pirates get what they deserve.
I’m currently taking applications for Captains, Gunners and Navigators. A hatred of thievery and a drive to enforce international shipping law is a must. Salaries commensurate with experience. Naval gun experience a big plus!!
Comments
3 Comments on Pirates!
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Brooks on
Wed, 19th Nov 2008 6:30 pm
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beezer on
Thu, 20th Nov 2008 5:53 pm
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Update! | Hellfire and Brainstorm on
Thu, 4th Dec 2008 11:28 am
I will require water, sunblock, and the largest gun that can be mounted safely to the deck.
….oh and a big-ass American flag.
Sign me up to be a gunner!
[...] the three of you that read this blog will be glad to know that somebody took my ‘Gunboat for Hire‘ idea and ran with it… hey, what can I say? Half of the name of this blog is [...]
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